Aisle 6

Aisle 6: Bargin Insanity Asile

It is snowing outside. The school should be closed. Well it is closed, but the library's open. I'm the only student worker in at the moment, also the only circulation worker in the whole building. I leave in an hour. My brain is bubbling just like my stomach is. I've been in this institution for four years. Four years. Four years with the same job, with the same bull shit, some of the same clothes. I need to get out of here. I'm getting stir crazy. So close though. I am just a few months and several dozen pages from graduating with honors. I'm not sure I can make it. I'm not sure I'll survive outside of this place. Just about every one who graduated fromt the theatre department here has gone on to do diddly squat.

The stress is driving me to my breaking point, all I want to do is go out have dinner at the little indian place downtown and see a movie. Possibly go to a mall and take part in consumerism. I'm fine with that. Instead I'm here slaving over, well nothing at the moment. I'm just sitting here. I haven't done a lick of work today. Just sat here. Checked my mail and looked up recipes for tonight. Tonight's meal by the by is possibly chicken curry with home made poori. After work I'm going to pick up some groceries and a few aplications for jobs, like at the video store and what ever else strikes my fancy.

I feel lost. Like I'm on my own yet desperately need help from others to keep afloat. I haven't felt this way since my first semester in college. Fitting when you think about it. Leave as you came. Though I feel I'm a different person. Still every one gets the occasional pain of finding themselves adrift in life, from time to time. I'll feel better once spring starts up.

One thing is certain. I am going to need a long vacation after this semester. I just hope I can find a job that will allow me to still live in New Haven, when I graduate.

I've just heard from an old friend. She constantly amazes me with her ability to just pick up and move about the world, with little to no problem. Maybe one day I'll be able to do that. Hopefully soon.