Aisle 27

Aisle 27: The Best Seller/Stationary aisle

Yep at work again. Let us call this entry the scribblings at the library.

I took a good long look at this blog a day or two ago and I am still trying to figure out the format of it. This should be something I know right off the bat. Just about every blog I've read has a central theme, be it about cats, comic, and music, about the woes of everyday life, about the political ideologies I'd like to push upon you, a chronicle of wonderous and funny stories from my life. Does this have a theme?

Technically it's the idiotic ramblings of a diseased mind. I put very little thought into what goes down on this blog (which should be very apparent). I regret that the second post I wrote for this is a emo post about an ex going to Disney Land. Why did I care? Well maybe it is fitting. I think I've gone over the story of that ex and I on every single blog (possibly not the one where I wrote horrible poetry on purpose). Plus people say you should start with a bang and I hardly ever listen to these people, hence the begining with a dud.

I will say I enjoy writing on this blog far more tha all the others, possibly because I can't tell if anyone is reading this. Other blogs I know exactly who is reading my thoughts so I know right off the bat I can't write about them. Here I can say anything. Like I have no feelings for my ex, Jill, and am slightly happy she is finally moving on with her life and moving to North Carolina. Nice girl but was I such a good boyfriend that she still clings to the past? Another thing I can say is that I really find many of my friends from college to be just as annoying and two faced as the ones from high school. Now before you jump and say, hey wait a sec I'm a friend from college, hold your horses I problibly like you. I mean you are showing an interest in my life. Many of my friends were like, hey we are so going to miss you when you graduate, and I was like, but I'll be in the town down the street, why would you miss me? I'll still be here, hell I'm still working on campus, you can come visit me at work. And without skipping a beat, "Yeah we sure are going to miss you Carl, life won't be the same." It's like talking to a dry sponge, looks interesting but really makes no sense.

So yes I try not to be a whiney jek on this blog, doesn't always work out too well (case in point). I'm not a super bright guy. I'm no great thinker. I'm not a comic genius. I'm a bit of a dork and I'm incredibly awkward and shy (this both hleps and hinders me). So why am I writing this? Is it simply a way for me to expell my thoughts into a quasi-public forum? Is this just like writing on a bathroom stall? I don't think so, as for the most part I don't go on about my deep inner turmoil. Yeah I say I'm stressed and all that but who the hell isn't stressed? I'd like to think of this blog as well just a random collection of thoughts that fill my head. Things I would normally strike up in conversation, only these thoughts pop up when no one is around.

In other words, this blog means fuck all. It's not something to be over analized. It is just an extention of my personality, slightly filtered but less so than when I'm out with certain groups. No one is really themselves all the time, but they tend to shape their persona to match the image those around them hold to be who you are. It's like what Ben Stein was saying in the Mask (oh Christ what am I doing quoting this...) we all wear different masks. Ok so I'm pretty sure that Goffman said it better in one of his books on society but regardless, we all wear multiple masks when we are out in society. To some I'm the mature, level headed responsible guy, while others see me as the bumbling idiot that gushes about a girl liking him, or possibly liking him... it is... a good feeling, I'll leave it at that. No mater the outcome I feel good about that.

What was I babbling on about? Oh right this blog. Read it, don't read it. Comment, don't comment. Hell comment about something that has nothing what-so-ever to do with the current topic at hand. If you get entertaind by what I write then yay! If not... so it goes. Am I still going to write on here? Yeah. Will there be more of these introspections? God I hope not. Will this get me fame or fortune? I think that's a no, and I honestly wouldn't have it any other way.

Yours with jelly beans and gizzled prospectors and gypsies,

Cj