Aisle 27

Aisle 27: The Best Seller/Stationary Aisle

So in the last posting I mentioned being kind of close to becoming Meursault from Camus' The Stranger or at least a bit worried that that was the direction I was heading towards. Well I decided to reread The Stranger, I decided this today actually and am pretty far along, surprisingly. There was one line that stood out though, "When I was a student, I had lots of ambitions like that [move to Paris and travel the world]. But when I had to give up my studies I learned very quickly that none of it really mattered" (pg 41 of the Vintage International edition). I would say that aptly explains how I've been feeling these past few months. All ambition lost. But then today, after reading that I kind of slapped myself in the face. I mean look at all my friends who've been long since out of school. Stace has just started a new design company with her boyfriend (check it out www.triplefrog.com give them jobs to do!!). I have a friend who's producing a show that sounds super nifty (more on that once the days get closer).

Who the hell did I think I was those past few months? I've never been one who has clung to academia, I never really took it all that seriously as I felt that some of those I worked with tended to read a bit too much into things and took all the fun out of life (like going to a freak show. Dude, side shows, though they may be problematic, are a riot, and not for the reasons we spent discussing in that windowless room). Oh that's a notion, the fact that the room I had most of my classes was devoid of any window, shut off from reality as it were. This is actually why I kind of want to get a PhD and write more, I want to bring a fresh eye that's not clogged with the appropriate jargon one needs to provide in order to pass oneself off as an academic. I think that was the thing that bothered me the most. People would always use these grandiose terms to make their ideas seem more interesting. Where as I tried my darndest to do the opposite, make my ideas seem interesting but using a lexicon that did not use the word lexicon. I think this is partially why people enjoyed my presentations and papers, because I would break down the intricacies and not depend on using too many ten cent words (for I was surviving on loans and needed as many dimes as possible).

Eh enough of that rant. So I just finished Orwell's Animal Farm, man, if only Snowball wasn't run off the farm by Napoleon maybe the whole farm would have prospered differently. Then again maybe not. I guess the pigs would still be in charge and calling the shots and would eventually get drunk on the power they had over the rest of the animals. Damn socialist live stock. I forgot how dark and violent the book was. I remember the whole situation with Boxer and the knackers but completely forgot about the supposed conspirators and the public executions. Why would the animals just throw themselves to the dogs? I wonder if there were secret detainee areas of the farm where the "conspirators" were tortured into believing their charges.

I'm refraining from making any grand claims right now as I'm slowly getting back into the proactive writing phase of my life. I figure I need to write a few more of these self reflexive posts and then things will smooth out a bit more and fun posts will pop up... or something will happen.

Currently I am trying to figure out what my next move is (as always it seems). Ok so the job should be coming next week and I'll have that to ease off the pain of every thing (oh yeah got a job, it's pretty darn cool actually). I've also become entwined in two improv practice groups, only thing is one I keep on missing due to misfortune and another I showed up and no one else was there. It seems the fates are against me for the moment. But I will be taking a new class soon that will actually give me a short three week run of shows, and I'm planing on trying to actually get as much stage time as possible. I also still have plans (very loose ones) with a few people about starting a theater collective. If this does happen I'll be happy, but the only way for it to happen is for me to get off my ass and get everyone else to follow suit, and lord knows I'm a reluctant leader. Oh it's not because I dislike leading, it is simply because I don't like to take full credit for things and don't want to feel like I'm keeping people from doing what they really want.

So real quick list of the projects for this fall:
More improv stage time
Start theater collective
Get a few papers published
Get at least three photos into a show
Go on more dates

Will I do all of this? Who knows? It'll be fun to find out though.

Oh and before I forget, this is partially last minute BUT it also is partially an on-going thing and has nothing to do with me. Tomorrow at 7 pm my friend Margaret will be singing with an excellent jazz band at Pianos on Ludlow and Stanton this will be a one night thing, but from 10pm till god knows when every Tuesday she also sings at a bar called Mona's on Avenue B at 14th street. Check it out if you are in the area, say hi. I may be there, I may not, regardless she's an excellent singer and the band that plays at Mona (if they are the one's I remember) are also kick ass. Why am I plugging her stuff? Eh, she's a cool kid and has helped me out more than I can count, so I'm in her debt whether she knows this or not.

Well that's all for now, don't shoplift and wash your feet.